To: Mauna Loa Café Management
From: Ryan Adams
Date: Business Improvement Concepts
Subject: October 29, 2014
I very much appreciate this opportunity for Mauna Loa Café management to consider my ideas for improving our business. The Mauna Loa staff has been like a family to me these last few months that I have started working here. As you may know, I quit my last job as CEO of Microsoft to join as and entry level worker here with Mauna Loa Café. I have never been more satisfied with a career change, working here has been very fun and fulfilling to my everyday life. The opportunity to lay out my ideas for management to hear is one I will most certainly take full advantage of. The following three concepts have been my top thoughts for how to get Mauna Loa back on track to become the powerhouse of coffee chains.
1. Sprinkle a little bit of crack into each coffee
Crack cocaine has been known to be one of the most addictive substances to men and women alike. Much like Coca Cola did during the start of their business, we can gain lifetime customers through adding this ingredient to our coffee. Not only will this add to customers' energy levels, but they will start to crave our product more after a cup or two. I understand this plan is a hefty initial investment, which could run us upwards of half a million dollars to supply all of our stores with this ingredient, but research suggests this will more than triple our net income, which more than covers for the price of crack. Also this plan is very risky with the possibility of law enforcement stepping in. However, if we package the ingredient ourselves and call it by a different name, like "caffeine additive," we have a very big possibility of pulling this off.
2. Offer alcoholic coffees
Adding alcohol to our menu will not only attract a new, untapped customer base, but will also add to our net income by offering this alcohol at a higher price than regular coffee. With the option of adding a few shots to your coffee, this will attract the elusive younger crowd we have tried so hard to pull in. 99% of adults age 21-25 get their coffee from Starbucks (bastards). Research also shows that about 60% of that demographic drink alcohol on a weekly basis. With the addition of alcohol to our coffee we can pull about 40% of this age group to our franchise, which will dramatically increase our sales while hurting any competing Starbucks in our area. The average retail price of alcohol is about three times the cost of bulk prices. This means we can charge $3 per shots of alcohol, which only costs up $1 to add, leaving us with an additional revenue of $2 per added shot. This can increase our overall income by about three million dollars a year.
3. Book live music to play at our shops
Many of Mauna Loa Café customers are long term dedicated consumers. We need to reach out to the younger age groups if we are to thrive in this business. Drinking coffee at a young age has become an epidemic, these young drinkers, ages 16-22, are commonly referred to as "hipsters." Hipsters pride themselves in three things: drinking coffee, dressing like sensitive little girls, and listening to "undiscovered" bands. With a little research, we can find and book whichever bands are popular in the area of each shop. Most of the hipster bands are willing to play for as few at $10, but they will bring in potentially thousands of dollars worth of hipster money to the shop that booked them to play. Calculations suggest that if every current Mauna Loa Café booked a band a month for the next year, we can add more than two million dollars of revenue!
At the very least, I hope this sparks movement among the Mauna Loa management to implement one or more of these ideas, or a variation of them. Thank you for your time, and for this opportunity. Mahalo and aloha.